For my reward is giving glory to you.

If I am still enough. I can feel my bare feet sinking into the warm concrete. If I am still enough, I can just begin to drift seawards. The great sea, the source of all discontent, pulls at me, when the purpose driven ants and other insectoids slip in through the cracks in my skin. It is where the skin meets the nail, that they make their way in. Crawling up my leg and into my knees. I had almost reached the sea when the knowledge of good and evil had too much to drink and got obnoxious. Naivety was trying to tell an old mariners tale, and the knowledge of good and evil became too loud. Much too loud. Tomorrow we will all wake up with a humid headache.

I suppose it is some place right between those pesky ants and the sea that the Lord is always speaking.

Are Children important?

The small way

I am nearer. Nearer, that is, to being a fool. It's a struggle I have always had. But these past few months have given me a kind of strength, and while the natural way (old way) drifts towards a selfish-glory strength, the spirit calls me to a humble-servant strength.

I'm still not sure where the great divide from thought to deed came from. Much of my life has been spent in recoil to the "Christian way." That is, I have taken some effort, at various times, to not "appear 'Christian'" Whatever that means. Even to the point of being ashamed of the physical presence of the Bible. I didn't like "easy indicators" of religion, things that people could look at and identify me as a "Christian."

"They should know the Love of G-d through my life." Said I.


I'm thinking, for me, that was mostly the deception of the devil.

So I am quite close to being a fool for me Lord. I think it is necessary for me to stand out in the faith, for it is too easy to hide everything away. I am certainly not speaking of being obnoxious, but I am speaking of not worrying if I am obnoxious or not. G-d has made for me a beautiful life of joy, and He calls me. I really want to answer.