Driving home from a family camping trip, I saw another one of the bastards. Pants low, scowl on his face. I smiled at him like a good neighbor through the protection of my windshield and was met with suspicion. Rightly so. My heart was dark with judgment. All the furry of a life of timid weakness rushed into my mind as I lost several minutes of drive time to imaginations of pulling my family-filled minivan over and raining my fists of thunder into his face. Of course for the purpose of teaching him that he should be full of love and forgiveness, not suspicion and revenge.
Mankind vexes me. I vex me. Lost in the sea of my mind, I oscillate from external hatred to inward hatred. I am the wicked. It's like I hate them in advance for what I am about to feel towards myself. Does that make any sense? No. Try again. I swiftly drift from a trained cannon of judgment to on the world, to myself. I should not grow so angry at people, as loathsome as we are.
I like tall ships. Beards. Butchers. Bow Ties. Seriously, that was accidental. But 'O How Trendy it is! And I hate them all who made it so, I guess I wanted to keep it small and private. Then I hate myself for caring. I should love beauty for beauty. The clothed lilies don't mind if the popularity of good font-type is increasing. Or decreasing. How then am I so infinitely concerned for the momentary dumbness of we-all?
Christ is my Salvation. The peace in wild that I love, the glory of a well kept beard, the incessant smiles of my children, the trees of the field...all Beauty from Him.
Now the pizza man is here and I have to go tip his ass off because sometimes this is a shitty world and I'm too timid to go punch the bad-guys in the dumb faces.
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