Why I find gladness when I hear of school shootings.

I do not believe the shootings were good.  I do believe good comes from things such as this.  For most of our lives we wander to and fro oblivious to reality.  Ever distracting ourselves with trivialities.  When we get so distracted, selfish, and lazy, evil smells that our guard is down and strikes at our slumbering existence. Like a crack of lightening in the fog, the veil is split and for a moment of terror we see clearly.  Notice each other.  Shortly we will slip back to sleep.  But for now we get a sense of value, value in life.  We are given no guarantees of life.  In all forms life is a brutal bargain.  The fit do not always survive, but the average remains, and so the individual has no guarantees.  We must die.  But before we do,if we get the chance it is good to see.  Not easy or pleasant, but good.  So I am glad for disaster, not because it is easy or pleasant, but because it affords us a moment of truth.  

Pilot us Homeward.

The murderous Siren of comfort oft distracting us from Truth.  How I sleep on, missing the secret peace in glimpses and breathes of our Home.  

“Papa, we can do better” And so ignoring his guiding surgeons hand to our own feeble boats and buildings.  “Papa, why so silent, why so weak?”  And so shrieking and noisy wreaking ourselves as quick as we can, eighty years or more. “Papa, where is your kingdom come? Where is your will being done?”  And so ever mowing our yards and buying new cars.  

Onward.  Ever up and up.  Tear the muscles to build the Body.  Create discomfort.  Become microscopic and beautiful.  Patterned, not important.  An easy yoke is not a slumber but a work, with precious glimpse and breath, Dear Pilot, guide us ever Homeward into Thee.

Ignorant Science

WARNING:  This is brambly rambly

I sort-of-love science. I love science ideas...but often, I hate scientific explanation. I have anal mental hangups. Let me give an example: I love reading about science...I am currently reading The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking. This is a very light overview of the quest for the everything theory. Here is my problem. It offers, like most lay-person friendly book, no mathematical proof for many of the "facts". I do not have the math-tools to really understand the proofs if they were given, but I NEED to understand further. For instance, lets take the cosmically recent fact that the universe is expanding.

 Ok. But first, how do we know how far away things are in order to understand this. So, lets take the simple question of "how far away is the sun"? We have not physically measured this distance, so how then. I am RIGHT NOW doing a simple internet search to figure this out and here is where I run into annoying problems... One explanation given was using the concept of trigonometric parallax. Building up to this, the author was trying to explain that given certain bits of information you can conclude others.

 Taken from THIS article:

 "Very often in math (and in other subjects) when there are three possible pieces of information, if you know two of them, and you know how all three pieces of information are RELATED, then you can figure out the third piece of information..."

  Ok, right...

" FOR EXAMPLE, if you know that a relative of yours lives sixty miles away (that's one piece of information), and you know that you are traveling to that person's house in a car that is going thirty-miles-per-hour (that's a second piece of information)..."

HOLD THE HAY-NONNY-NONNY, that is NOT a second piece of information!  To know that your are going 30 MPH you need to know distance and time.  Of course to actually know at what speed the car is traveling you use this frame-work to plug tire rotation speed etc...

'"... you can figure out that it will take you two hours to get to that relative's house. (The amount of time, the two hours, is the THIRD piece of information which you did not have but were able to figure out from the other two bits of information, which you did know). So there you knew the distance, you knew the speed you were traveling, but you did NOT know how long it would take, and you were able to figure it out!"  END QUOTE

So here is my rabbit hole problem.  What he said works.  But it's not exactly right.  You are taking standards and building them up.  We know a car travels at 30 MPH because the speedometer says so.  Its says so because of previous test given to show X distance traveled over X time, appropriated to the vehicle's specifics.   You can verify the speedometer by measuring a fixed "speed" between a set distance and a set time.  But you CAN'T REALLY KNOW THE SPEED WITHOUT THE OTHER TWO.  You can ASSUME (and it usually works) the 3rd (distance, or time) if you are given speed and one of the others, but you can't really know it because the speed depends on time and distance.  Whereas time, and distance stand alone without the requirement for the any other.  Of course this is not exactly right either, as distance is dependent on relationships and reference between something and something else, and time...don't get me started on time.

I am not done trying to understand how we "know" how far away the sun is through trigonometry, but this is an example of why I find it so damn hard to learn.  I realize that "Um, it works".  But the more you learn about science, the more you realize that the current wisdom says that there is a lot of stuff that goes against common sense, and I would really, really like to believe it...but I need to understand it.  And when logic comes in...it is hard.  

Also, I should have paid more attention in school and maybe I would not have such a hard time with math.

Why am I driven to science when it makes me so mad?  Because...Science v. Religion is serious.  In the scientific community science is seen as Superior to religion because it relies on fact instead of speculation.  I, in  my academic retardation, see much of science as speculation.  Speculation that works, but speculation non the less.  No one has seen an electron.  So in my heart of believe that science and religion are compatible.  I want to know the best of science to see if it works itself out instead of its apparent FAITH based framework.

So, back to the internet to learn something.  If anybody knows anything about this, please help.  And if you help, I am probably going to get mad and argue with you...but I want to...and I love you...so please....in the voice of a dying mutant.... Please.....help.......me.......

Presumptivetivs

I was just slogging through some old blogs from various persons and realized that it seems 2010-2011 was about the time that everybody stopped blogging. Facebook I guess. I was about to close everything out and then thought...I am going to retro blog. It's been a whole year...It's so old fashioned it's cool again. Blogging. Actually...It's a nicer way to think...and go back and read through things. Slightly more private and focused. Right now is... changing. Mind-slurry. I bet I won't post again for another year. But if that's a lie...it's about to get hella-dramatic around here.

Richard Wagner, The Muse, G-d, and why do we make so much crap?

While spending hours working on our floors, I pondered art. I'm no artist, but any time I have created something, the best seemed a discovery, not a creation. I have heard far better say equal.

But in the great span of human creation, the truly great, moving art (music etc) was not penned or painted by Christians. Why is this? I recently started listening to a lot a Wagner and have fallen for it. It's terribly moving, heavenly even...but he was not a good man. Racist, antisemitic. This is common...the great artists were generally troubled people.

Not only are Christians not represented in the halls of art, we generally put out the crappiest stuff there is. Why?

Would we, if living good christian lives, become to ourselves gods both creating and doing godly things?

Is G-d saying something to us in this distribution of insight?

We are fallen all. I suspect something along the lines of Babel here.

I guess I'm ok with feeling transported and drawn towards God through the creation of a depraved human being.

Seriously, the Ring Cycle is amazing.

Color from gray.

I was a bit startled by these color photographs from the Great Depression, they made that era feel not so far away. I would like to see color photographs from ancient times. Time.... so strange.


http://passportstation.blogspot.com/2010/10/farm-security-administration.html

For my reward is giving glory to you.

If I am still enough. I can feel my bare feet sinking into the warm concrete. If I am still enough, I can just begin to drift seawards. The great sea, the source of all discontent, pulls at me, when the purpose driven ants and other insectoids slip in through the cracks in my skin. It is where the skin meets the nail, that they make their way in. Crawling up my leg and into my knees. I had almost reached the sea when the knowledge of good and evil had too much to drink and got obnoxious. Naivety was trying to tell an old mariners tale, and the knowledge of good and evil became too loud. Much too loud. Tomorrow we will all wake up with a humid headache.

I suppose it is some place right between those pesky ants and the sea that the Lord is always speaking.